Okay, we are going from the ridulous to the siblime. The Masters, in a desperate attempt to keep their illustrious golf course women-free, is not going to have corporate sponsors or commercials next year? Exactly what point are they trying to make.

"We hate women, and to prove it, we won't let you watch any commercials!"

Where golf is concerned, there are two types of women. Women who play golf, and women who hate golf.

Care to guess which group I fall into?

I'll save you the hassle: I HATE golf. It is the most moronic sport on the planet. You hit a ball, then you chase it. When you catch it (or actually when it stops moving) you hit it again. If you are lucky, after 4, 5, or 10 tries, the ball falls into a hole. Then you do it all over again.

If I can't get my dog to wear a sweater and bring me a beer, then why would I want to put on a silly outfit and chase a ball on a oversized backyard? Golf is nothing but fetch for humans, and if my dog is too good to play the game, then I know I am too.

So to all you overwieght, tradition-clinging, irrational-thinking, southern-(fill in the blank with the bible thumping religion of your choice), bureautratic, not-a-clue-what-is-going-on-in-the-real-world-because-my-wife-with-too-much-time-on-her-hands-keeps-me-out-of-the-loop-cuz-I-like-it-that-way board members of the Augusta Golf Course can keep your little boys club just that. Suits me just fine.

###

Since the annual turning of the clocks last week, the weather has seemed to become much more enjoyable. The birds are chirping, things are turning green, and my lilacs are just in the beginning stages of blooming.

It's only a matter of time before I am trading my hat and gloves for a baseball cap and a box of tissues.

Allergies. I am allergic to everything. Typing the A-word gives me hives.

What makes it worse is that I am the only member of my family that has them. My daughter could stick a whole pollen-covered flower up her nose while shaving a cat and mowing the lawn and she would be just fine. Hubby is the same way.

Then there is me. I spend most of the end of April through the beginning of June in a constant allergic state. It's a pain in the ass really. Most people plan their activities around the weather report, ie is it going to rain, will it be warm...I check the pollen count. If it's above a certain amount, I don't leave the house. Of course, normally, if it's that bad, I don't need to check the pollen count. I already know.

What burns my you-know-what the most about it is that others profit from my misery. I was at the drug store earlier today and the pharmacist was smiling at me. So, I spoke to him

"Great weather we're having," he replied.

"Yes, it is lovely," I answered, browsing for deoderant. Hubby will only wear a certain kind and it's hard to find and expensive to bbot. Once I tried to fool him by buying a cheaper kind and swapping the label from an old bottle with the cheaper kind...I got busted. It wasn't pretty. Didn't smell pretty either. But I digress.

"The birds are singing, the sun in high in the sky and bright...and the flowers are beginning to bloom."

"Yes, they are," I answered debating between the "sproty" and "just showered" scents of the deoderant.

"The animals will begin to shed their winter coats, grass is going to need mowed. Yep, the pollen is gonna be flying. They say this could be a record year in our area!"

I turned to smile at him again, and I could have sworn I saw a single tear trickle down his face...and I think he was beginning to drool. I bade a hasty retreat, bought the deoderant (sproty scent) and fled the drug store.

It's not the guy standing on the corner that is trying to sell you crack that you need to worry about. It's perverts like the allegra peddling pharmacist that have you under thier thumb.
- posted by Kim @ 6:47 PM

 
This blog is going to be disjointed, so consider yourself forewarned. I have several things running through my head, and I really don't feel like sorting them out. And since I made a conscious decision not to edit my blog entries, (Oh what, you thought I didn't see the typos? Give me some credit!) this may be an incomprehensible mess. So, read on if you so choose.

Damn, after all that, I hope it's worth reading.

Michael Moore..the Academy Awards...and the boos. I saw the AA's. I heard Moore's speech. So, imagine my suprise when I saw the recap of his speech on ET, the news, CNN, etc. and the boos were much louder than I remembered.

This is why I am leary of the media. They show you what they want you to see...and doctor what you do see to suit them. Not the first time, won't be the last. Case in point (topic change), the media had no problem showing dead Iraqi's on television, but it would have been a tragedy to see dead American troops. Personally, seeing ANYONE dead is a tragedy, but if you just have to show dead bodies on the evening news, then show everything. It's war people, it ain't a chess game. People die in wars, we have monuments honoring those that have given their lives for it. We have days where we celebrate it and mourn it. Either show it for what it REALLY is, or don't show it at all.

Hooray for Jessica Lynch! I am so glad they were able to resuce her. See, it's what I have always said: don't mess with a West Virginia Chick! We'll kick your ass and take your name later! I hope that we are able to rescue the other POW's soon.

I've got 15 queries out at the moment plus I am waiting for a response on my book submission. I swear to God I hate the waiting. Why in the hell do I have to wait so long for an answer. Okay, enough about that.

I looking for other places to query and to submit my work to. I have been scoping out contests and anthologies, but nothing is jumping out at me. Most of the anthologies want happily-ever-after stuff, and as I said two posts or so ago, that isn't my style anymore. What I need is an anthology that caters to angry, bitchy writers who have sarcastic wits, sometimes unpopular opinions, and a screw you attitude. I do that well.

Well, I think that's about it. I have to work the dreaded "day job" tomorrow. I really should stop calling it the "deaded day job" since a) it's not a "day job" since I work the afternoon shift and b) I really don't dread going there. If I HAVE to work outside my house, then it's a good place to work. My problem is that I want to work AT HOME.

Anyway, I need to find places to sell my writing. So I am going to go and do that. Y'all take care
- posted by Kim @ 12:27 AM

 
I finished the full-book outline and the first chapter of my assigned book and shipped it off to my editor today. Now I get to play the waiting game. Fun fun.

As a writer you would think I would be used to the "hurry up and wait" atmosphere, but I'm not. I am still impatient as hell when it comes to finding out whether my work is acceptable or not. And I hate rejections. I don't get all watery-eyed and melt into a puddle of goo when I get one of those ugly slips of paper in the mail (or email), but I still dislike someone telling me that I am not good enough. It's like getting snubbed by the kids in the sandbox all over again.

Okay, so that never actually happened to me, but I bet that it feels pretty much the same way.

Now that I have that pesky deadline off my back, I think I am going to kick back and catch up on my computer games this weekend.

Yeah, right. I've three other deadlines looming over my head, and if I want to get paid in August, September and October, I had best get to querying some mags. Ah, the life of a writer...the round robin from hell.

My day job is still as hellish as ever. Whenever I see the new hires for the new project, I just want to scream, "You bastards shouldn't be training for that project! You should be training for ours dammit! We need you more, we were here first!" But alas, we get no new people....and there isn't a training class in the works for the forseeable future. I'm gonna feel really bad when I walk out of there for the last time in May, but the reality is that if I am ever going to make it as a full-time freelancer, then I need to become a full-time freelancer.

So, I guess I should end this happy blogging session and get some real work done...the kind that leads to checks, not just the love and adoration of my fans. LOL I am so full of myself. I knew my eyes were brown for reasons other than genetics...
- posted by Kim @ 3:10 AM

 
For this entry, this is all I have to say. As a writer seeking fame, I think it says a lot.

Lyrics copied from www.lyricsdomain.com

Rise and Fall by Craig David, featuring Sting

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall [2x]

I always said that I was gonna make it,
Now it's plain for everyone to see,
But this game I'm in don't take no prisoners,
Just casualties,
I know that everything is gonna change,
Even the friends I knew before me go,
But this dream is the life I've been searching for,
Started believing that I was the greatest,
My life was never gonna be the same,
Cause with the money came a different status,
That's when things change,
Now I'm too concerned with all the things I own,
Blinded by all the pretty girls I see,
I'm beginning to lose my integrity

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

I never used to be a troublemaker,
Now I don't even wanna please the fans,
No autographs,
No interviews,
No pictures,
And less demands,
Given advice that was clearly wrong,
The type that seems to make me feel so right,
But some things you may find can take over your life,
Burnt all my bridges now I've run out of places,
And there's nowhere left for me to turn,
Been caught in comprimising situations,
I should have learnt,
From all those times I didn't walk away,
When I knew that it was best to go,
Is it too late to show you the shape of my heart,

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

Now I know,
I made mistakes,
Think I don't care,
But you don't realise what this means to me,
So let me have,
Just one more chance,
I'm not the man I used to be,
Used to beeeeeeeeeee

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall [4x]
- posted by Kim @ 2:53 AM