Comments From the Peanut Gallery
Saturday, July 26, 2003
What Did YOUR Dog Tell You Today?
I have a strange relationship with my pets. I don't know if I can adequately explain what the relationship dynamic is, but I can tell you this:
They understand everything I say to them. Especially the dog.
Ketulah (pronounced Keh-tool-ah) is especially attune to what I say to her. This dog will walk up to me and make a whiney noise. This is my cue that she "has issues".
"What wrong Tulah?" I'll ask.
She will grunt at me. One grunt means, "I want out of this house, take me for a walk!" Two grunts: "Feed me!" Three grunts "Feed and water me now dammit!" Three grunts and walking in a circle: "If you don't get up off your lazy human butt and feed me, I am going to leave a gift in your favorite pair of shoes!"
This particular time, I got a three-grunt response.
"So, you're hungry huh?"
The dog nodded. Yes, she did. Don't call me a liar! I saw her nod. Yes, she did!
"Well, let's go get you fed." I reply standing up.
The act of my standing gets the dog worked up into a tizzy. When she gets "happy" it's hard to walk around her without tripping over her and falling on your head.
"Hey, I know you're hungry, but all this jumping around isn't going to get you fed any quicker. Now calm down and let's go into the kitchen."
She calms down and takes a few steps toward the kitchen. Then she stops and turns to look at me.
"Get a grip dog, I'm right behind you," I answer.
We go into the kitchen and I grab her food dish. She starts to do her dance and I shoot her a glare. She sits.
"Good puppy," I reply and pat her on the head.
I fill her food dish and then give her water. She eats and drinks, I go back to my computer. A few moments later, she reappears at my side.
"Now what do you want?" I ask.
She stares at me, but offers nothing as a response.
"I'm not into reading the canine mind. Tell me what you want."
She glances at the front door and then back at me.
"So, you wanna go outside." I say.
More tizzy dance, another glare from me, obedience from the dog.
"You can't go outside yet. If I let you out now, you'll came back in two minutes later and then I'll have to get up and let you out again hen you REALLY need to go. Go lie on the couch and I'll let you out later."
This time, the dog glares at me. If she could speak, I know she would be calling me a bitch.
"Look whose calling who a bitch," I say. Now walk your canine butt on over to that couch and plant it.
One more glare and off she goes.
No one can tell me that she doesn't understand every word I say to her. And yes, she does talk back, and no, I'm not drunk or stoned. No, I'm not! No! Quit arguing with me! Otherwise I will tell Ketulah to seek out your shoes and YOU can have the gift!
Have you read about this:
Deep In Debt, NJ Family Robs Bank
To summarize, in an attempt to save the family home, a mother and her 14 year-old twin daughters robbed a bank. They got caught and the mother, her husband, the twins, and an older sibling were arrested.
Okay, now I will be the first to admit that robbing a bank is a bonehead thing to do. But I also have to admit that I can relate from where the desperation that made the idea seem like a good one came from.
Lemme try that again: I can see how desperation made robbing the bank seem like a good idea.
When twin teens rob a bank to help their parents, then there is a big problem. And I'm not sure it starts with the parents.
How many people do you know who are barely hanging on by thier fingernails? How many people do you know have had to go to food banks and sign up for food stamps and welfare because they just could not make ends meet by themselves? How many people do you know have been out of work for a year or more?
This country has big Big BIG problems, and finding the father of two dead Iraqis doesn't even make the top 10. There is no working class anymore. In order for there to be a working class, there have to be people working. And more and more that is not happening.
Plants are closing down, factories are moving to Mexico and overseas, and corporations are "downsizing" (damn I hate that word), but we need to liberate Iraq. Thirty-somethings are competing for minimum wage jobs that high schoolers used to work to save money for college, but the Iraqi's are suffering, so we have to save them. Could someone tell me when we are going to save ourselves?
This is the plan to help the working class that the federal government has come up with: The federal government started sending out the $400 refunds yesterday. WHOOPIE! I know that I am going to be running to my mailbox everyday for the next month just so I can grab up that check and say, "Look what my government did for me!" Yeah, right! We aren't going to see a dime of that money, because we were one the "lucky" ones that feel between the cracks. But even if we were to get it, it really wouldn't change much. So, this is to all those bureaucrats out there who embraced the refunds as a legitimate way of saving the working class and the economy: Giving a working class family $400 is not an incentive, it's not even a reward. It's just giving them back money that they should not have had to pay to begin with. It's like slicing someone's corotid artery (the ones in your neck) and then just before they bleed out, offering them a bandaid. Sure, it will probably soothe your conscience to be able to stand up at their funeral (or bankruptcy court hearing) and say you tried to help them, but you should know that you are destroying this country. You are stepping on the necks of the very people who pay your salaries and put you in office. And, although I cannot speak for everyone, I can tell you this: I might have helped put you in office, but I guarantee that come election time, it is not a mistake I will make again. You really want to help us? Bring back our jobs from India and Indonesia and Mexico. Give us a fighting chance to make a decent living and support our families. All we want is what we have been promised -- a chance at a good life, making an honest wage. I don't think that is too much to ask.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
It's All About the Benjamins!
Did that title get your attention? Heh, keep reading!
I'm sure that by now you have heard about the "Bambi" hunts in Nevada. If not then surf on over the CBS.com or CNN.com and read all about it. Oh, okay, I'll make it easy on ya:
www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/07/17/bambi.hunts.reut/
and/or
www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s905117.htm
Go ahead, I'll wait...
Okay, know what I am talking about? Good. Now, I know, some people think that the hunts themselves are hoaxes to help promote a video and that the video was staged. Groups all over the country are outraged and want to shut down these "hunts" if they do indeed exist. The Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence called the "Bambi" hunts "offensive, dangerous and exploitative". Even Brass Eagle, Inc., the largest paintball manufacturer in the world has a problem with it.
I have a problem with it as well. But not for the same reasons. I don't think it exploitative. Unless you can prove that someone put a gun to these women's heads and ordered them to do these hunts, (live or on video) then I think the point is being missed.
Why in the hell would a woman want to strip naked except for a pair of Nikes..Reeboks, Adidas...whatever and goggles and run through the woods while men (and I use that term loosely) shoot at them with paint balls? What are women thinking? It's las Vegas for Pete's sake. Go strip in a bar..be a showgirl...a cocktail waitress...or *gasp* get some education and be a manager or secretary or a bookkeeper.
These women are not being exploited. They are all about the benjamins. It's a quick, painless (as long as you don't get hit) way to make a couple grand. Plus, they get to be naked in the hot Nevada sun! Yeah, these women are exploited.
I'm sure that one of the "Bambi"'s will do an interview on one of the newsmag shows where she will tearfully explain that she needed money to support her kid(s). That chick needs to be grateful that I won't be the one asking her questions.
I am so tired of people saying that this or that is exploitative to women. What these groups don't want to admit is that most of these women that are being "exploited", were not forced into the lifestyle. I have a friend that was a stripper. She didn't do it because a seedy looking guy talked or forced her into it. She did it because she had a great body and she knew men would throw money at it if she showed it to them. Most women use their bodies because they want the money. Ya think Heidi Fleiss was getting her arm twisted to run her escort business? Do you think the women that were working for her were being blackmailed? Nope..uh uh. It's all about the Benjamins! And to all you feminazis on the "female exploitation" bandwagon: get a grip...most of the women you are rallying behind do not need your support. Matter of fact, most of them are laughing at you. Why don't you quit ignoring your downstairs neighbor whose husband is beating the crap out of her. Or how about the homeless woman that you step over on your way to your "women's movement" meetings.
And for the rest of you who want to go after the creators of the "Bambi" hunt, go ahead and shut it down. But do it because it's a stupid idea and a waste of good paintballs. Leave the women out of it.
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
And I Wanted To Be A Writer Why????
Okay, so I have been working on this romantic comedy that is threatening to eat a hole through my brain unless I get it on paper. I've been a dutiful writer -- I write daily and I try to make what I write worth keeping. And so far, for the most part, I have been pretty successful.
But now I am stuck. I've got characters that just don't want me to write about them now. They refuse to indentify themselves. I have tried everything to bring them to the surface, but they refuse to cooperate.
Damn them and my overactive imagination. If I couldn't use them, why did I dream them up?
I have been working on the same chapter for three days. It wrote 15,000 words in three days, and now here I am, stuck on what would be 3000 words max. This really bites. And yes, to all you writers out there that are thinking, "Kim, you big dope try working on another part of the book!" I have tried that...it's not working. I can't write the ending without this chapter...and I have written pretty much everything else I can write without fleshing out this part. Dammit! Why could I not be happy taking service calls for the rest of my life? Why do I want to be a professional writer? Why do I think any of you care?!?
I know, I know. I will work through this. One day I will have a great epiphany and the chapter will come together, and I will pat myself on my back, thank God, my muse and technology for making it all possible. But until then, I'm gonna bitch about it. And moan. And whine. And cuss. and and and...
The $23,000 Executive
Our government is at it again! Now they want to change the overtime pay laws. I won't go into major detail about the whole mess, if you want to read that, check out www.cnn.com. I just want to comment on what this whole mess means.
If our government gets its way, then anyone making just over $22,000 could be considered executives, and therefore not eligible for overtime pay. $22,000 is below poverty level in most states. Which means that when you are paying for your food with food stamps, you can take pride in that you are en executive receiving food stamps. Yes, that should make you feel better.
Yep, the guy who asks if you want fries with you burger, could now be an executive. The lady that checks you out at the grocery store -- yes, she too would be an executive. Your dry cleaner clerk, waitress at your favorite restaurant, and the customer service rep at the phone company -- all executives.
There's going to be a whole group of executives that get Earned Income Credit, WIC, and medicaid. Take away overtime pay from people who make $22,000 and you are going to create some pretty poor executives. Executives driving 1991 Escorts. Executives who can't afford to play golf at the country club or take vacations. Executives that when they are charged with "white collar crimes" will have to go to regular jail. Of course, since an exeutive will only make $22,000 a year, then their crimes will more than likely be "blue collar crimes", such as shoplifting diapers, formula and other things that they can no longer afford to purchase because their overtime is gone. What's the point in being an executive if you can't afford a house payment in even the worst of neighborhoods?
I wanna be an executive. Okay, technically, I am since I own my own business. I'm the CEO over myself, and my husband when he chooses to cooperate. But now I would be a double executive if you count my other job. Wow..an executive twice over. It's enough to give a gal goosebumps...if she can afford to have them.
This is a test...this is only a test...
Okay, so now I have a new blog. Isn't that special? This is a test post. This is only a test. If you are viewing this test, then it means that I got lazy and decided not to delete it. I would only keep this blog..er..I mean test, if it was either funny, or I couldn't figure out how to get rid of it.
I wonder if my blog will look the same. Did I lose my colors and other formatting features? I was just grateful that I remembered my login info. I have so many usernames and passwords that I think I need to see a shrink for multiple personality disorder. Okay, that might be viewed as insensitive to some of my mentally challenged friends. Of course, if they are truly crazy, they won't see themselves in that comment anyway. I wonder what it says about me that I see myself in the comment. Either I'm crazy and know it, or I'm sane and not sure. Did that make any sense. It was a rhetorical question people -- get a grip.
Oh well, this should be enough of a test. I now return you to your normal blog viewing.
