Did y'all miss me?
Sorry I've been away as long as I have. My fibro flareup took its toll, and then I was sticken with my monthly friend (what a stupid euphenism..but oh well), so my energy level has been even lower than it was. Add in the lack of caffeine in my system (I miss my COFFEE!!!!!) and I've been a slug.

But I am feeling a bit better now, so I figured I would check in and let y'all know what I've been thinking about. Yes, although my body is exhausted, my brain has been in overdrive.

First, I decided that I am going to buy a new computer with part of my tax refund. I know what I DON'T want: a Dell, Gateway, IBM, HP/Compaq, or Sony. That really only leaves building a PC clone, which isn't a bad thing since my last clone has stayed with me 7+ years. So now I have to find someone to build one for me. Lou could do it, but as good as he is, he is SLOW. So I'm going to try some local guys first, then eBay if I have to.

Thoroughly bored yet?

The other things I have been pondering are writing-related. I am thinking of restarting the ezine, Wrters Stew. I had such a wonderful, if not overwhelming response about the idea. For those of you that don't know anything about it, surf here: Writers Stew - Everything about nothing! In the first 3 months that I advertised the 'zine, I got 500 subscribers and 300 submissions. It was just too much work for me and Jeni, and it was a lot of money to fork out for writers, so I tabled it. But now, I have received several offers of assistance from people I think I can rely on (Jeni was the ONLY one who fit that bill the first time around), and since I am in a better place financially, I might give it another go around. Any opinions? For the record, I am not new to the 'zine publishing world, Writers Stew was/is/was (can ya tell I'm undecided? LOL) my third 'zine. The first two were successful, but I just wasn't interested in pursuing them any longer.

Let's see, what else? I've made significant headway with my novel, Three Wishes. I could actually be ready to start shopping it around next month. That will be cool. I have a good feeling about the book...and its sequel is perculating in my head as well...it has an interesting twist as far as storytelling is concerned. I can't go into details, but I promise it's an interesting concept...provided I don't change my mind later. But back to Three Wishes...if I put a small excerpt up on my website...just some sample pages...would y'all be interested in reading it? Let me know, either through comments or an email

That's about it. I'm almost back to my old self, and I hope to get back to posting regularly. I'm sure you have missed my weird spin on reality and my quirky ability to shed light on all things mundane. Oh that was a stupid sentence, so I'm going to end this entry while I still have some of my dignity intact. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 3:06 PM

 
Okay, so I have been remiss in my blog writing duties...
Add it to the list of things I should be doing, but just don't have the energy to do.

First of all, it's winter. I lose relay races to three-toed sloths during winter. I'm also fighting off (as much as a runner-up to a sloth can) a fibro flareup sans meds. I'm taking a multi-vitamin with iron, a calcium supplement (I'm lactose intolerant, so drinking milk/eating dairy isn't much of an option), an d drinking plenty of water and juice high in vitamin C....and...oh, how it pays me to say this...

I've given up caffeine...especially coffee.

Don't faint Gail, I need you conscious so I can have caffeine vicariously through you!

I'll let you know if it was worth it. It's been less that 24 hours, so its still too soon to tell, but I can tell you that with all the water I'm drinking, my kidneys and bladder still function.

Now, back to why I haven't been blogging as much as I used to -- yes, Koni, I saw your post about running out of things to read -- my bad.

I'm T-I-R-E-D!!! I've worked 3 10-hour shifts this week, and things have been crazy around here. So, just as soon as things settle down, I catch up on my sleep (HA!), it warms up a bit, (I'm not picky -- high single-digits would be a refreshing change of pace)and I get this flareup under control I'll post more. Til then, remember me fondly...
- posted by Kim @ 3:09 AM

 
Unbelieveable!!!
Got this link in a message post from a writing group I belong to. You've got to SEE it to believe it!

Yes! I want to work for peanuts!(www.webmasterlabor.com/rates.html)

While you're there, check out the testimonials from "satisfied customers": Of course I'm satisfied! I paid $2.00 for a press release!"

Can you believe those rates? A 1200 word article for $22? That's insane! Now, I know that there are many writers out there that write for free -- I still do it for causes that I am passionate about. But those rates are horrible. Not to mention, you aren't writing those articles for your OWN portfolio, you are writing them FOR OTHER PROFESSIONALS!!!

So, not only am I making peanuts (more like the shell and peanut casing, really), but I can't even take the credit for the work.

No way. Not in a million years.

You hear a lot of professional writers complain that they don't make the money they THINK they should make, and that writers who write for free are the cause. Nuh uh. It's writers that consistently work for peanuts that hold the value back. As I said previously, I have no problem with a writer giving away work, but I DO have a problem with writes who continously undervalue the skill. Now, this is different from, say the new professional writer that is just beginning to collect paid clips. But again, as I said before, this work isn't yours. You are writing for other people, therefore, you can't even claim it for your portfolio. So what is the point?

A site like that would never be able to exist if there weren't writers who were willing to work for practically nothing. Sad. Really sad. If you are going to write for free, then write for free. But don't put in the work and effort for pennies on the dollar and then call yourself a professional writer.

I know that this post will bring about comments, both positive and negative. All I can say to that it, bring it.
- posted by Kim @ 3:14 AM

 
Today was a pretty good day!
Haven't had much of chance to say THAT recently. I got a bunch of work done on my book, cooked a yummy dinner (spareribs, buttered noodles, and salad), and watched two football games in relative peace. That's always a good thing.

Even if I really didn't care who won. In a way, it was nice to just sit back, observe and not have any emotional involvement. For those of you who don't know (and don't care, but oh well, sorry!), The New England Patriots and the Carolina Panthers will be facing off in the Super Bowl two weeks from today. Go...oh who cares! :-)

Did anyone see the article about someone putting the STATE of WEST VIRGINIA up for bid on eBay? Would you believe people placed BIDS?!? I barely want to live here, I most certainly don't want to own it. Hum, I guess technically, since I am a taxpayer and a home owner, I *am* a part owner in the state..if we all pooled our resources..

Oh, who am I kidding? We can't agree whether we're a northern or a southern state, and that's been going on for almost 150 years.

On a related note, my neighbors directly to my right are the McCoys, and the neighbors on the street below me are the Hatfields.

No. I didn't make that up. Quit laughing. I'm serious.

Friday, the little Hatfield and McCoy girls got into a turf war. Both are Brownies, and as I'm sure most of you know, it's Girl Scout Cookie time. Both girls showed up on my porch wanting me to buy from them, fighting about which of them had the right to approach my house.

Not wanting to be in the middle of a feud that goes back a full century, I declined to buy from either of them. Call it civil disobedience. Call it rebellion. Call it the "Francis Girl Scout Cookie Revolt of 2004".

For the record, I didn't buy from either of them because I had already bought $30 worth from one of Taylor's friends. I did my part.

Anyway, even with the feud, and the lousy Saturday, I managed to salvage at least part of the weekend. Considering how things have been lately, I consider that a pretty okay thing.


- posted by Kim @ 1:08 AM

 
Wow..a quiz I actually agree with! I am..

Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

I can get behind that. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 12:39 AM

 
Hum...
I'm supposed to be marathoning, but I just had to post this thought.

My daughter is watching The Jungle Book, and I just realized something. All of the voices in TJB are the same as in The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Okay, so maybe I'm a little late to the game, so sue me. I also just realized that Balou is the same voice as Thomas O'Malley from The Aristocats.

Yeah, I know...I'm slow.

For some reason, Taylor has decided that she is going to watch her Disney movies...all 50 some of them. We've watched Aladdin (some day I will impress you all with my ability to quote that movie from start to finish), Aladdin and the King of Theives, Snow White, Cinderella, James and the Giant Peach, The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and now The Jungle Book. Up next: The Aristocats, Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland, where Taylor will envariably yell, "Look Mom, its the Catarpillar smoking a hooka!" That was always her favorite part of that movie. It's no wonder she's into Cheech and Chong and Bob Marley now.

That was a joke folks.

Okay. That's enough. Off to do some revisions on Three Wishes...
- posted by Kim @ 11:06 PM

 
And how was your day? (how was YOUR morning - Part Deux)
Color this day frustrating. Everything I did today was a struggle. And it's only 8:39pm.

Damn. It's not over.

Got up this morning (first mistake) and rushed to the bank, ensuring that the checks I wrote yesterday wouldn't bounce and leave us in the dark, without a phone, or enjoyable television viewing. Of course, without electricity, it wouldn't matter what was on tv...

But I digress.

I get home from the store, and Taylor and the Big Kid greet me. And they weren't saying "Glad you're home, how are you today?".

"Can I go to the skater shop?"

"I have band practice at 2. I can get a ride home, but can you drop me off?"

"Are you going to the store today? We have NO food and I'm starving!"

"How 'bout laundry? You gonna do laundry? I'm outta jeans."

"I need some money."

"Yeah, money would be cool!"

Okay. So I didn't bother to tell you who said what. Does it really matter?

While they are shooting their questions at me like daggers, I just stood there, moving my head back and forth like I was watching a tennis match. When the volley finally ended, I turned and headed into the kitchen. They followed me.

"Did you hear us?"

"Yeah, were you paying attention?"

I grabbed a coffee cup. Still I have said nothing.

"Mom?"

"Kim?"

I picked up the coffee caraffe. I poured myself a cup of coffee. I added creamer and one packet of sugar twin. I stirred, then I sipped. Ah...

Then I turned and faced Taylor and the Big Kid.

"Yes, yes, yes, you are not, yes, yes, I know, clean your room, how much?"

Their confusion was amusing.

"Oh sure, you can toss questions at me, but you can't catch the answers. What a shame." With a smile I walked into the living room and sat down in front of my computer. I grabbed my "to do" list:

Laundry
Do dishes
work on editing Three Wishes
check email
fix dinner

I nodded my head in approval. The laundry and dishes I could do quickly, which would leave me plenty of time to check email and edit the book. Dinner, of course was still eight hours away.

That was the longest and quickest (I didn't know a day could be both either, but SURPRISE!) hours I have experienced ever.

EVER!

I'm not going to go into complete detail..but here's a quick rundown...

The washer flooded the laundry room
The dryer only worked on "fluff"
I broke two glasses, a serving dish, and a teflon skillet (!??!)
My printer quit.and spewed ink all over me and my desk
I burned part of dinner
It's snowing!

So, I am finally sitting here...after mopping the laundry room, cleaning 50lbs of lint out of the back of the dryer (any MW reading this -- HUSH!), cleaning up glass out of dish water and salting my walk. I did manage to salvage most of dinner, and what I couldn't repair, the dog gobbled up happily. Of course, Ketulah would have been just as happy eating the glass and the dryer lint...but let's not go there.

It's 9:08pm, and I am just sitting down at my computer to get some writing work done. I'm tempted to just go to bed and get up at 12:01am..new day, new hopes...

On second thought, I'm going to say up and finish off my list. I think carry over might be a bad idea.

- posted by Kim @ 9:13 PM

 
I am so stressing over this whole writing career thing.
I had planned to send out ten queries this week, but here it is, almost 4am Thursday morning and I haven't sent out query #1. it's insane! Why am I holding myself back?

No, I don't think I am a talentless hack who can't cut it. I've had a bit too much success to believe that. And no, its not a lack of ideas holding me back. It's me...all me. I am getting in my own way.

But, in my defense, there are other factors. I found out (well, not officially, but heard it through the workplace grapevine...and you know how reliable they usually are) that there is a good shot that we are all going to be laid off in March or April. The work we have been going is being shipped overseas (grrr...don't GET me started on that topic...), and although we had been told that we were going to get a new project, we have yet to see anything on the immediate (or any) horizon. So, it doesn't look too good for us right now.

Now, as annoying as my job can be, and as much as I would like to freelance full-time, the honest-to-goodness truth is that I need that job right now. It's my security blanket -- my fall-back plan just in case the freelancing doesn't work out. Without it, there is no security blanket...I'm out there...and I have to make it no matter what.

I'm not ready for that kind of pressure...but I guess I had better get ready. That means getting those queries written and sent. *sigh* The life of a writer...it's never simple.

On an unrelated note...where are you guys? I used to get emails from people...now suddenly...I revamp the site and I put in a handy-dandy comment script...and no one has anything to say. Except for Gail...thanks Gail! So all you other readers out there, leave me some comments...any comments...yeah, I'm begging...but I am a woman on the edge! Help a poor gal out would ya?
- posted by Kim @ 4:13 AM

 
Houston..we have comments!
How cool is this? Thanks to Koni and Angela, I now have comments for this blog. Okay, so they didn't *know* they helped me, but from reading the posts at BlogAddictsInternational, I found my way to a cool script that I am now using. So, thanks Koni and Angela! :-)

I am working 10-hour days at the "day job" and I have to tell ya, being a dependable employee sucks. Now, if this were an editor asking me to put in extra hours, I might might feel differently. But there are just so many hours that you can deal with crazy people and their stupid computer woes. Yes, I understand that you need a tape drive to back up your daily reports...but do you really need to tell me that you hate my company? Did I make you buy the drive? Did someone put a gun to your head and order you to not buy a Dell or else? Gimme a break!

Okay, enough whining about the day job. I need to get some sleep so that I can do the job I really like.

But I just had to post to my blog. It's an addiction. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 6:57 AM

 
Okay, so I finally did something that I had wanted to do...
for a while now. I changed the look of my blog. What do you think?

There are a couple of things I need to change, like the size and color of the font in the menu bar. That I will work on later today. I might try to add some other info...like a comment box of some sort, but we will have to see about that. I get the feeling that that is a project that needs a day dedicated to it, not just a few hours that I steal here and there.

Now that I have updated the blog (somewhat) I need to focus on the websites. And I suppose I should try to fit some writing in somewhere. Gee, imagine that -- the writer writing!

I was going to sign up for the weekday marathon at Marathon Writers , but I decided that I need to focus on my articles this week. I'll cheer people on as usual, but I think the group can muddle through without me. Gonna do some more market research and send out some queries this week...at least ten is my goal.

Well, my brain is fried -- I think I'm going to fade Into the Mystic and get some sleep. I've had my "away" message on ever since I logged on when I got home from work. Tré anti-social, I know, but I just wasn't in the mood to chat. Too many things running through my brain. Oh well, I wouldn't have made good comapny anyway.

So, I guess I'll chat with y'all later! Probably tomorrow..err..later today.
- posted by Kim @ 4:56 AM

 
And how was YOUR morning?!?
Grrrrrrr!

I just finished a completely unproductive morning! I say finished because as of this post, it is 12:05pm in Wild Wonderful West Virginia.

I got up this morning with the best of intentions. I was going to do the mountain of dishes that piled up over the weekend (it was BEYOND frigid here most of the weekend and my house is ill-equipped to deal with that - READ: the *^%$) froze!), throw in some more laundry (a task that I started late last night when said pipes were thawed), take a shower and sit down to work.

HA! So much for MY plan.

There was a water line break on the street above me (it was obvious due to the large frozen mass that covered the rise on my one-car width lane..the same said mass that caused me to slide into a pole and crack my front fender Friday night on my way home from work). Today the water department showed up to fix the break. Of course, to do this, they had to turn off the water. But did they bother to tell anyone? Of course not! The water didn't come back on til about 15 minutes ago...so, here I sit, dishes still piled up, clothes still dirty, I still need a shower....and I'm forced to wait for my hot water tank to refill and heat up. Sone days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

Of course, I won't get to the laundry before I head to work and I'll only get to about half the dishes-- which means both piles will still be there when the idiot, aka my husband gets home from work. This will tick him off and he will undoubtedly leave me a pleasant little note saying something like "thanks for taking care of your family. I had to do my own clothes myself..and had to wash my own glass!"

The shame! The agony! The horror! He's such an idiot. Sure, I could leave him a note detailing why the dishes and laundry weren't done, but ya know what? It would be a waste of time. He wouldn't read the note, and more importantly, I don't think I should need to defend what I do or don't do to my husband. If dishes need to be done -- do them. If you need clean clothes -- wash them! It ain't brain surgery. But to hear him tell it, it causes him physical pain to do something other than go to work, play in his band, lift a glass or smoke a cigarette.

Okay, I feel a major husband bashing moment coming on, so I am going to end this entry. Maybe I'll pop on after I've had my shower and done a bit more work around the house.

This blog entry is the most productive thing I have accomplished...and I'm not sure how worthy it is.
- posted by Kim @ 12:38 PM

 
I just wanted to say thanks
to all of the people who emailed me about my rant a few days ago. I'm pretty sure I emailed everyone, but just in case, I wanted to send an open thank you. Your words of encouragement meant a lot to me.

it's a new week, therefore it was time for me to look back at the past week and see how I did with my goals. Not bad. I accomplished all of them except for the queries to agents and publishers is reference to both my books. I'll need to decide what to do about MoC first before I approach another publisher, and Three Wishes needs more work before I submit it anywhere. So accomplishing those goals are high on my "need to do" list for this week, and querying business- and writing-related articles are a close second. I'll focus on the personal essay submissions later in the month...of course, I have two contests I am entering and both are personal essays..so if I work on those this week, I can count that toward my goals as well.

Don't you guys just love reading how my brain works? Oh, lie to me already! :-)

I really didn't have much to say, just felt the need to blog about something and wanted to thank those people who came to my defense. I'm sure I'll check in again later...til then...enjoy your day. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 4:14 AM

 
I'm in mourning...
I no longer have a football team to root on. My beloved Titans broke my heart AGAIN last night and lost 14-17 to the NE Patriots, and today the Chiefs fell victim to the Colts. Since the Colts beat the Titans twice, and NE beat us last night, I'm not going to root for either of them. Yes, I am aware of the theory that you should root for the team that beat you, but I am not THAT big a person. So that only left KC..and they lost..so that's it. From this point, who cares? May the NFC rule.

I'm marathoning this weekend. Actually, I am mass deleting this weekend. I have lost 2500 words so far. At this rate, my novel is going to be a short story. But it's for the good of the book, so I will muddle through, suck it up and do what I need to do to make this book as good and publishable as I can. I mean, what's the point of holding on to the crappy stuff just because I liked it when I wrote it initially? But I did dump the deleted pages into a separate document, so if I change my mind later, I can refer to it.

Well, that's about it. Nothing else is going on. Perhaps I will post again later..otherwise..Later! :-)
- posted by Kim @ 4:35 PM

 
So, I'm wondering what to fix for dinner...
and I decide that rotisserie chicken, cheddar mashed potatoes and broccoli and cauliflower with cheese sauce (we like cheese hehe) sounded as good as anything.

So I get the chicken out of the fridge. yes, I do keep whole chickens on hand. I keep chicken in all forms (pieces, boneless breasts, etc) on hand. We like chicken, plus have you seen the price of beef? I paid $22 for a 5lb. rump roast. A RUMP roast. That's almost double what the price used to be...and don't GET me started on the price of steak! It's official: it's cheaper to go to Bonanza...plus I get all the chicken wings I can eat.

Don't you love how I brought that whole meandering full circle? Talented, I am!

Anyway, I take the chicken out of the fridge and head over to the rotisserie. What? Did you think I was going to buy a rotisserie chicken? Have you not been reading this blog? I am the SEKA queen! I get the cicken prepped and ready to go into the rotisserie, slide it in shut the door, set the timer and walk away.

Five minutes later, I hear "click click click click". I invesitgate. The chicken has slipped off the skewers that holds it on the spit. So I take the chicken out (fortunately, its not too terribly hot at this point) and reseat the chicken on the skewers. Stick it back in the machine...you know the drill.

I had to do this FIVE times! I finally hog-tied the chicken with leftover Christmas ribbon (says "Merry Christmas" and is very festive), which was no feat considering it was basted with spices and a light olive oil. Hum..guess it is appropriate that I hog-tied it since it was as slippery as a greased pig! And yeah, I know ya'll're wondering why I didn't use the chicken bands that you can get to keep the chicken in place. Simple: Don't have any...can't find any...and everytime I ask a store clerk about them they look at me like I just grew a second head. Therefore I am reduced to working with what I've got. Haven't heard a peep from the rotisserie in about 5 minutes, so hopefully this time it will stay in place. and we will have juicy, delicious chicken to compliment the vegetables and mashed potatoes.

But don't believe the hype: set it and forget it my ass! It's more like set it, stare and it, and screw with it til its done.

But the chicken is delicious! :-)
- posted by Kim @ 7:21 PM

 
Those of you who know me
know that I have ZERO tolerance for ignorant people. I also don't tolerate people who feel the need to put words in my mouth, or treat me like I don't have a thought in my head.

Both of those things have happened in the last hour or so, and I am highly pissed and insulted about the whole thing.

I'm not going to go into details, because it would take too long, involve too many people, and honestly would be a big 'ol waste of time.

But I will say this: my opinion is just as valid as anyone else's. I have just as much right to voice my opinion as anyone else. I am free to agree or disagree with a view, just as others are free to agree or disagree with mine. I don't expect people to always agree with me. Honestly, I am surprised when people do see things my way. But I also have no problem defending my view and will do it at any opportunity.

But when people (or a person) attack my view, put words in my mouth and basically tell me my opinion means nothing -- then I have a problem. A BIG problem.

Let it be known that I will post my opinions whenever I damn well please, and I'll be damned if I am going to let someone tell me otherwise. I will not have anyone lesson my view because it doesn't align itself with their own. You don't agree with me? Fine. Tell me why, make your case and let's discuss it. But don't insult me or my intelligence onlist. I am a human being with a fully-functional brain, and I don't appreciate anyone implying otherwise.

I also refuse to have someone minimize or belittle my experiences. My experiences are my own, and for someome to tell me they aren't vaild is an invitation for a cyber smackdown. Here's a little thing to remember about experiences-- everyone has them -- and many have had similiar experiences. When you belittle the experience of one person -- you run the risk of alienating many others. No man is an island. I would never tell someone that how they feel or what they think doesn't matter. All I ask is that I am given the same courtesy.

Yes, I know I am beating around the bush, but I am doing it deliberately. As I said, to get specific would mean to involve others, and as pissed as I am, I have no desire to drag others into this. I just wanted to make it known that the comments made to on that particular list did not go unnoticed.

That being said: I am going to end it here. Life is too short to stay angry because someone with too much time on his/her hands felt the need to be insulting. I've got better things to do with my time, and I dedicated too much time to the topic as it is. So, to all of your, have wonderful weekends and I will be back with another goofy post Monday..maybe sooner if life warrants it. With me, you can never tell. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 1:14 PM

 
So, I've made a few decisions...
about my goals for this year. Done some soul-searching...some tweaking...had myself a good 'ol fashioned Come to Jesus so to speak.

And I decided that my goals are not gonna work. Why, you ask? Simple. I am looking at making money and not at making myself happy, and believe me, a unhappy Kim is a bad thing. Y'all think I'm (insert insult of choice here) normally? Well it would only get worse.

So I have made an executive decision. This decision will more than likely eliminate the possibility of going full-time freelancer by the end of this year, but I think I will be happier with the fruits of my labor. the last thing I want to do start to sound like some of the other freelancers I know who are so into making a decent income they are beginning to hate the writing process. The day writing becomes more of a chore than a pleasure, that's the day I quit writing and go back to working at the call center full-time. If I wanted to be stressed out over work, I could just work the "day job" and not have the problem that self-employment brings to the table.

All that said, the changes to my goals are simple. I still want to break into the business big glossies, but if I don't do it this year, then so be it. I know from experience that it's part hard work, part timing, part GREAT idea and part luck...and all those parts have to meld together under just the right circumstances. I just need to keep in mind that those parts might not all come together for all those glossies this year.

The other executive decision I made was that I was going to cut back on my commercial writing. No more business plans...unless it's a favor for someone. No more marketing plans...no more white papers...no more freakin' press releases. I will still do web copy, brochures, etc...but no more freaking financial bull crap. Speaking of bull crap, I will not be doing any more editing (book) either. Got screwed over three times last year -- twice by publishers and once by an author. So that's it. No more for me. I'm going to write books and leave the editing to some other sucke---err, I mean person.

So this leaves me with a little more wiggle room than anticipated -- how shall I fill that free time, you wonder? Glad you asked.

I will be dedicating more time to my fiction writing, personal essays, and getting agents and book deals for both. That's where my true desire lies, and to ignore that would be folly. (Quit laughing that I used the word "folly". I happen to like it!)

Anyway, those are the changes I made. I'll let you know about my progress. Should be an interesting year.
- posted by Kim @ 12:15 AM

 
Tired of me yet?
okay..one more post and then I am off to do something writerly. Not that this isn't writerly...but it doesn't exactly pay the bills.

Anyway.

Last night as I was complaining and laughing about the strange people calling me I came up with a short list that I have dubbed (and Jeff Foxworthy, excuse me for stealing your title a bit..but it works) You Might Be A Computer Savvy Redneck If...

You might be a computer savvy redneck if...

You have a laptop sitting on top of a desktop PC..and neither of the work.

Your AIM/AOL screenname is BubbasSisterWife

Your computer is worth more than your trailer and pickup truck combined

You have to add "Y'all" to the end of ROFLMBO

If you IM your buddy from the Tractor Pull and send him a live feed with your webcam with the message, "Y'all gotta see this!"

If the sounds on your computer consist of "Yeah, buddy", "old lady (or man) bring me a beer!", and "Yeee Hawww!"

If you bought a cell phone because it had global technology, hyper sensitive keys, PDA enhancements, was fully compatible with your laptop and desktop PC and the faceplate and ring tone brought back fond memories of the Dukes of Hazzard.

Okay, that's all...so far. :-) And, for the record, I am a southern gal, and these are things I have seen and heard from these other southern yahoos that surround me...ie. my friends.

Yeah, I know. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 3:07 PM

 
okay..so I just finshed cleaning
the rest of my kitchen...and it looks mighty spiffy if I say so myself!

This was a carryover from the scheduled "curse the mess my family left me" last night/this morning. I just didn't have it in me to clean the kitchen (which included three sink drain worth of dishes, glasses, pots and pans). How can two people make such an ungodly mess? Don't get me wrong, I am impressed that they have managed to feed themselves the past couple of days...but good Lord, don't they know where the Dawn dishwashing liquid is?

Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk...and coffee...and ketchup..and bread crumbs..and and and...
- posted by Kim @ 2:49 PM

 
Question:
How in the world do you clean a baster?

Where did this question ceom from? Now, y'all know by now there's a story behind it.

I was doing dishes this morning (yes, I actually rolled out of bed at 8:30 in time to take Lou to work. Well, I needed to cash a check I got yesterday on my way to work that I didn't have time to cash then...but I'm digressing) and I found the bulb to my turkey baster. The baster part itself, however was missing. Then I remembered: I tossed the baster in the trash, cuz I couldn't get it clean. I tried everything: dishcloth twisted tiny, bottle washer, toothbrush (oh stop, it was a NEW toothbrush that I bought for cleaning non-oral, inanimate nooks and crannies), I even boiled it. All to no avail. So finally I said "to hell with it, out you go!" and made an awesome three-point shot at the buzzer from the kitchen sink to the trash can.

That was the fourth baster I have had to throw away. I can't get them clean to save my life. Anyone have any ideas?

******changing topics******

I'm liking my new shift. It's calmer, and the people I work with, including my Sups are more laid back. For the most part, the evening calls are easy -- mainly IT guys in hospitals and sorter room workers from banks calling to tell me that their tape drives are failing or they have INF checks on sensor 2 loc 0.

okay, I know that meant nothing to most of you, but to me it equates to easy nights at work -- always a good thing.

However (didn't you see that coming...I know you did!) last night I had some of the weirdest calls ever. The calls themselves weren't weird, pretty run-of-the-mill. At least they would have been had the callers had ANY clue what they were doing. A brief recap:

Guy from Naw'lans calls. He needs to ask a tech a question. Only problem: he was drunk as a skunk and couldn't remember what the question was. He had written it down on a sheet of paper, but in his deep inebriation lost the paper. The guy couldn't remember his question, but he could remember our number and model number of the machine he wanted to ask questions about. Go figure.

Another example: Woman from NY calls and requests that we place a service call for her server. Okay..no problem. Tell me where the server is. She doesn't know. Doesn't know the address. I ask if it is in a different location than she is. She says the MACHINE IS SITTING NEXT TO HER! Uh, how can you be in a building and not know where you are? I suggest she find a business card or stationery and tell me address. You would thought I had just ordained her Queen. I was brilliant! The coolest thing created since the freezer...alrighty then...

But wait...now we enter the "I know what I'm doing, you are the moron!" portion of the evening.

Guy calls me: needs to place a service call. Okay..give me the machine type. Gives me a number that is not a machine type for any machine I know of. I ask him what type of machine he has. He tells me, and I immediately know that they machine type should start with a 7. He doesn't believe me. Insists that the number he gave me was the right one. it's not....I know this. Guy gets mad, calls me a few choice names...hangs up. Boo hoo...I'm losing sleep over that. NOT!

Ten minutes later...same guy calls me back. Gives me a machine type that, wonders of wonders, begins with a 7. Then mentions that he talked to someone in my department a few minutes earlier, and that she wasn't helpful and could have saved him valuable time if she would have simply informed him that the first machine type he offered was wrong.

What the ?!@#$!....

Those were a few of the weirdos and morons that I talked to yesterday. There were several more, including a government agency that apparently forgot to pay their maintenance bill and now none of their machines have extended warranties.

Yep..your government at work. Gotta love it.

- posted by Kim @ 2:13 PM

 
Do I know myself or what?
So I just re-read my schedule from my last post. I pretty much did what I planned..including sticking to my oath (my Dad took Taylor to school and Lou took the bus to work) and I got up at noon. I've already had my shower and get ready for work, so I am ready to work on my writing goals.

Now, which goal do I want to work on?

I think that on days when I work the "day job" I'm going to work on laying the groundwork for some of my big projects, so that on my days off I can dive right in. That way, I am working toward my goals without starting something major and then having to leave it half done..or stop when I'm on a roll etc.

Are ya bored yet? Do you care? If you are still reading this, then I am impressed.

Okay..here's something more "me":

Last night I got a call from a woman reporting that her "mouse was moving on its own". I replied, "perhaps the mouse would be still if you got rid of the cat in the hard drive". She came back with, "True, but where would I put the dog?". I love calls like that.

Yes, it WAS funny! But I guess you had to be there.

This new shift is interesting. We're semi-busy from 4:30 - 7:00, not busy from 7:00 - 9:00 and pretty much dead for the rest of the night. Eventually, when I have projects that warrant it, I will start to take writing work with me. But for now, I am enjoying getting paid to take calls while I crochet. I started a lovely afghan for hubby..should have it finished in a few weeks...if it takes me that long.

Yeah, I know...don't care about this either.

The river is still rising...supposed to crest sometime this afternoon..looks like we will avoid the flooding afterall. Thank God. Oh well, at least my french drains are good to go for next time...and there WILL be a next time.

I am off to do one of my smaller writing goals. And I can even check "keep my blog updated" off the list! :-)
- posted by Kim @ 1:27 PM

 
Okay, so I bit the bullet...
And I created a schedule for my days. As most of you know, I am not a schedule kinda gal, (others of you might remember the time my husband created a schedule for me, complete with insightful tidbits such as "fix dinner", "run around the house and collect my dirty clothes so I won't have to be bothered doing it", giving me a whole two hours to clean the house, do the laundry and feed the animals, and my favorite, "go to store and make sure to purchase enough pop and cigarettes so that I (meaning him) would not be inconvenienced". He said he was "trying to be helpful"..at least I think that's what he mumbling as he was picking himself and his teeth up off the floor.

Anyway, MY schedule makes sense...on paper. It will be interesting to see if I can pull it off in real life. Anyway, read on:

Kim's Daily Routine - aka I MUST be trippin' - aka What a great attitude! You are doomed to fail! aka - Just list the damn schedule already!

8am - get up, curse the dawn of a new day, make coffee

8:20 - take the kid to school the whole way swearing you AREN'T going to do it again tomorrow

8:30 - take husband to work (see oath above)

9:00 - return home, drink first cup of coffee - check email

9:30 - complain about spam mail, crazy posts on writers groups, write a few reply rants, missives, etc. Drink second cup of coffee.

10-11 - blog (and that's what I am doing right now!)

11 - 12 - shower, get ready for work.

12 - 3:30 work on writing goals, watch soaps (Y&R and ATWT especially)

3:30 - leave for work at the "day job".

3:30-4:30 - curse traffic, the need for the "day job" and the way too small cupholders in my car. Get to work, hang out on the patio for ten minutes then clock in.

4:30 - 1am - listen to people complain about how much their life and technology sucks, take some actual service calls, crochet, work on my loom and work on article ideas.

1:15am - 1:50am - Drive home, drink coffee and shudder at the mess my family (who is now left to their own devices in the evening) has left for me.

1:50-2am - curse the mess greeting me

2am -3am - Watch Roseanne and grab something to eat.

3am - 4am - Clean up above-mentioned mess.

4am - 7am - do any pressing work that is waiting for me, or play games to wind down.

7am - 8am - nap. Unless, of course, I keep my oath and don't take the kid to school or the husband to work. If that's the case, then I will sleep til noon and my whole schedule is shot.

Crud! Even when I'm not trying, I plan my life around them. I'm telling ya, its a sickness!

NOTE: some of you might have noticed that cleaning was not on my schedule. There is a reason for this: I pay Taylor to clean. She likes to do it, she likes the cash, and she is WAY better at it than I am. The only cleaning I do is the dishes, the kitchen floor and the bathroom...only because I am VERY picky about how those things are done. Everything else is Taylor's domain. :-)

Anyway, there is my list. Questions and comments can be sent to Milking the Muse@aol.com

Now, if you will excuse me, I am behind on my coffee consumption...but I am ahead in my blogging, so it all works out! :-)



- posted by Kim @ 10:46 AM

 
Okay, it's official...
I'm losing it.

I just looked at my driver's license and realized three things:

First, I really need to remember to put it back in my purse, cuz since I left it here at home when I left for work today, I couldn't get my paycheck cashed, therefore I had to bypass McDonald's and settle for frozen pizza for dinner. Not a good thing.

Second, it's due to be renewed next month, which is a good thing, since I never got another license with my current address on it, which would be a pain if all the cashiers in the Ohio Valley didn't know me.

Third, when I do get it renewed next month. it won't need to be renewed again for another 6 years. That would be 2010. Taylor will turn 18 and head for college later that year.

Can ya guess which of these things have me borderline depressed?

The thought that Taylor will be a numerical adult and college bound the next time I need to renew my license is a sobering thought. I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to be a part-time parent/part-time empty nester. I want her here..with me...taking up space on my couch and keeping my wallet empty.

Okay, so even after she leaves for college she'll still be depleting my wallet, but it just won't be the same.

I know there are several milestones that will occur between now and my next license renewal (dating, her entrance into high school, her own driver's license, the TEEN years, etc.) but I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that she has only 6 years, 4 months, 5 days, 15 hours and 38 minutes of childhood left. Not that I'm counting or anything.

Oh well. All I can do is cherish the time I do have with my child. of course, even when she's 35 out on her own with a husband and kids of her own, she'll still be my child.

I'll just be too old and senile to remember. Wonder if I'll remember to renew my license then?
- posted by Kim @ 11:04 PM

 
Happy New Year!
Well, it's 2004. Kinda hard to believe we are facing a new year. All the possibilities...a clean slate...a chance to make this year MY year.

My year for what, I'm not sure.

Is this the year my craft business takes off? The year my writing career soars? The year Lou and I spend all 12 months in the black? That would be a first.

Of course, if any of my above-mentioned goals take off, we will achieve the last one.

We had a nice, quiet New Years here at home. I'm not fond of going out on New Years. Too many drunks in the bars, and worse, on the road. So we opt to stay home. Usually, we invite people over, say 20 or so, but this year it was a smaller crowd. Good thing, cuz I didn't feel like cooking for a bunch of people.

I posted my goals earlier. I just re-read them. Yeah, I think most, if not all of them are attainable this year. I guess we'll see. I could conceivably have a couple of them fulfilled by March. Of course, I'll keep you posted.

I hope you and yours have a terrific 2004. I really think this could be MY year to become what I want to be. Just as soon as I figure out what that is. :-)
- posted by Kim @ 1:55 AM