I am so stressing over this whole writing career thing.
I had planned to send out ten queries this week, but here it is, almost 4am Thursday morning and I haven't sent out query #1. it's insane! Why am I holding myself back?

No, I don't think I am a talentless hack who can't cut it. I've had a bit too much success to believe that. And no, its not a lack of ideas holding me back. It's me...all me. I am getting in my own way.

But, in my defense, there are other factors. I found out (well, not officially, but heard it through the workplace grapevine...and you know how reliable they usually are) that there is a good shot that we are all going to be laid off in March or April. The work we have been going is being shipped overseas (grrr...don't GET me started on that topic...), and although we had been told that we were going to get a new project, we have yet to see anything on the immediate (or any) horizon. So, it doesn't look too good for us right now.

Now, as annoying as my job can be, and as much as I would like to freelance full-time, the honest-to-goodness truth is that I need that job right now. It's my security blanket -- my fall-back plan just in case the freelancing doesn't work out. Without it, there is no security blanket...I'm out there...and I have to make it no matter what.

I'm not ready for that kind of pressure...but I guess I had better get ready. That means getting those queries written and sent. *sigh* The life of a writer...it's never simple.

On an unrelated note...where are you guys? I used to get emails from people...now suddenly...I revamp the site and I put in a handy-dandy comment script...and no one has anything to say. Except for Gail...thanks Gail! So all you other readers out there, leave me some comments...any comments...yeah, I'm begging...but I am a woman on the edge! Help a poor gal out would ya?
- posted by Kim @ 4:13 AM