The *THUNK* you hear is my head smacking off my desk.



I've long held the belief that the reason women have more common sense than men is chromosomal. Women, (XX) have common sense, while men (XY) often seem to be lacking it. I think this is bcause that extra leg that makes a Y an X is where the common sense genes are held.

It's just a theory...do with it what you will.

Anyway, the reason for the post. Hubby and I often have conversations that leave me scratching my head, but this one's a doozie. Lemme set up the scenario: I'm sitting at my desk this afternoon, trimming my dream agent list down a bit by reading the research from websites and warning pages I had printed out when my husband walks through the door.

Him: What's for lunch?

Me: Whatever you want to fix.

Him: You didn't fix lunch?

Me: Nope. It was me, the cats and the dog, and they still have food from this morning.

Him: Well, I'm hungry.

Lemme interject here. This was not so much a comment as it was a thinly-veiled command. This was the point where I was to stop what I was doing, go into the kitchen and fix him something to eat. Yeah, right.

Me: So go fix yourself something to eat.

Him: *insert whiny sigh here* But I just got home from work and I'm tired.

Me: Honey, I'm in the middle of something. If you can wait a little bit, I'll fix us both something.

Him: How long?

Me: I don't know...about an hour?

Him: An HOUR?!? I don't want to wait that long!

Me: then fix yourself something.

Him: Why haven't you already fixed lunch? You knew I was going to be home.

Okay, so I knew he was going to be home, but last I checked, he worked til 6 and got home around 6:30. It was 2pm...but I should have known he would be home 4 1/2 hours early.

Uh huh. Okay, sure. Whatever.

Me: And how was I supposed to know you'd come home early? I was expecting you for dinner, not lunch.

Him: well, if you weren't online yakking with your friends, you would have known.

Me: Back the bus up. I haven't been online all day.

Him: You're online right now.

Me: I am not!

Him: You are too! There's the little Internet icon right there! (He pointed to a symbol in my taskbar)

Me: That's the printer icon you idiot!

Him: Don't call me an idiot!

Me: Don't act like one!

Him: I can't believe you aren't going to fix me lunch after I went to work and made money to support this family.

Me: Ha! When was the last time you offered to make ME lunch? When was the last time I came home from work...after working 8 HOURS and you had fixed dinner?

Him: Dinner was waiting for you when you came home last Friday.

Me: You ordered a pizza! And it had green peppers on it. You know I hate green peppers!

Him: Well, it was the thought that counted.

Me: The only thought you had was, "Hey, if I order this pizza with crap on it Kim won't eat, then I'll have leftovers for tomorrow.

Him: Well, since you won't fix me lunch, it seemed like the perfect plan.

I hate when he does that. He'll bring up a topic, take me all over the world with it, then *bang* he brings it full circle (to support HIS opinions, of course) and we are back where we started. Only now, I'm ticked instead of amused.

Me: Tell ya what. Order a pizza with extra green peppers. Now you'll have lunch and dinner and maybe I'll get some work done.

Him: What? Now you aren't going to fix me dinner?

Like the only person in this house I cook for is him. As if I am his personal short-order cook.

Cha, yeah.

Me: Keep up this attitude and you won't get dinner tomorrow night either.

Him: That's not fair. You are so lazy it's pathetic.

Me: I'm lazy? I didn't storm into the house, ignore the other person, go into the kitchen come back and whine that I was hungry. I'm not the one who is hungry but won't fix something to eat because I don't feel like it. And I'm not the one who is standing in the living room calling other people names because they won't stop what they are doing to accommodate me!

Him: What are you trying to say?

Me: Fix your own damn lunch, I've got work to do.

Him: My mom would have had lunch waiting for me.

Cringe. My late mother-in-law was a wonderful woman. But she let men walk all over her (her own admission). She had a serious flaw in the self-respect department, especially where men were concerned. She indeed would have had lunch waiting for him just in case he came home early, checking on it and keeping it warm, just in case. But she also cut the crusts off his bread, separated the green beans from the corn in the succotash, and ironed his socks.

I'm NOT my mother-in-law. I don't have the above-mentioned self-respect issues, and I'm not going to cater (excuse the pun) to a man who doesn't even have the decency to call and let me know he's coming home early. Of course, I wasn't going to say these things to him.

Me: Your mother was a saint.

Him: Are you going to fix me some lunch or not?

Me: I told you, I'll fix something a bit later. If you want something now, then go ahead and fix something.

Him: Never mind, forget it. I'm going to go take a nap. Maybe when I wake up, you will have found your way clear to fix dinner.

Me: Dinner is at 6:30 as usual.

Now, I know I could have stopped what I was doing and fixed lunch for both of us. I know that my actions were a bit childish and caused a seemingly needless argument, but there are bigger issues here. My husband has no respect for my work time. When he came home, I wasn't playing a game or writing an email or writing in my blog. I was researching agents and publishers, trying to trim down my list so that I was targeting the best agents for my book, meanwhile writing down snippets of sections of the query letter as they were coming to me. In other words, I was doing what I have been doing every afternoon for almost 6 years. I was working.

But he expected me to just stop what I was doing and cater to his needs..needs he wouldn't have had if he would have stayed at work (note: he takes a lunch to work, so either he ate it, or left it there...not sure which and I didn't want to ask). Needs that he was just as capable of filling as I was.

So, lemme recap: husband was ticked cuz I wouldn't stop working to fix him lunch cuz he left work early, the roll I had been on was derailed, and suddenly, I was starving.

As if he read my mind, hubby came back downstairs.

Him: I'm going to order a pizza. What do you want on your half?

Me: Same as you. But..

Him: Yeah, I know...no green peppers.

That's how it ended. The Pizza (No green pepper on my side please) Accord.

Welcome to my world. LOL


- posted by Kim @ 4:20 AM