This is a pure stream of consciousness post, so...
If it meanders all over the place, consider yourself warned. :-)

It's early Sunday evening, and I feel like I've been hit by one of the trucks I share the highway with everyday. Things were fine when I was still in the cycle of getting up driving to work, working, driving home, going to bed and doing it all over again the next day. But, just as soon as Saturday hit and I didn't have to get on the road, the fatigue set in...and it is showing NO SIGNS of going away.

So, I'm a bit road weary. Then I'm sore from playing mini-golf and bowling last night. I've been looking around this disaster area that is supposed to pass as my house, and the idea of cleaning makes me hurt more. It also ticks me off, cuz since Lou is here ALL DAY (his job fell through, and won't start for another 2 weeks), there is no reason it should look this bad..then again, because he IS here all day is one reason why it looks this bad.

So, I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm road weary, and I'm a bit miffed that my house that I spend no time in anymore is a wreck.

Enter the "maybe we should rethink this whole relocation" conversation I just had with my husband.

Yes, once again, he thinks moving is a mistake and that I should quit my job and find one here. Once again, I remind him that I quit a good job to take this one, and that there was no way I would find a job around here that would pay what this job pays (it pays several dollars more an hour than what I was making at my old job, and that job paid several dollars more an hour than what I would make working anywhere else). He reminds me that we don't have the cash to keep me on the road indefintely, and that since I'm the only one working at the moment, it will take an indefinite amount of time before we can afford to move into our townhome.

Last time he went down this path, I wowed him with a speech. This time, however, I am too tired, too cranky and too wrapped up in the current situation to deal with his less-than-productive paintings of the painfully obvious...so I simply told him to shut the hell up, that I was tired of his whining, we were sticking with the plan and that if he wasn't part of the solution, then he was part of the problem and frankly, I don't have room for anymore problems. He got quiet for a bit...then asked me if I was sure this was what I wanted to do.

UGH...yes, please, nothing makes me happier than a long commute to work 8 hours and another long commute home, all the while wondering how I'm going to pay for it all. I'm thrilled with the anticipation of living out of a hotel for several weeks or months til he finds a job and we can afford to move into a townhome (housing is plentiful..if we have to pass on this townhome, there are plenty of others to choose from). And please, oh PLEASE can I completely uproot my family and move somewhere that, although offers plenty of opportunities, takes me away from the home, family and state that I love.

Yeah, I'm tingling with anticipation.

So, I tell him, "and what choice do we have?"

That ended the conversation. And thus ends this post. I have to go fix dinner...I'll be back in a bit.



- posted by Kim @ 5:04 PM